Meet: The clocky.
The description from the website:
The patented alarm clock that runs away and hides to get you out of bed. Clocky gives you one chance to get up. But if you snooze, Clocky will jump off your nightstand and wheel around your room looking for a place to hide, beeping all the while. You'll have to get out of bed to silence his alarm. Clocky is kind of like a misbehaving pet, only he will get up at the right time.
I don't think this alarm clock would survive more than a couple mornings of beatings, but it might actually be worth a try. Again, I feel bad for people who have had to sleep in the same room. Not only do I talk in my sleep, I hit the snooze button like it's my job. I'm sorry.